******* Disclaimer: If you're easily offended DON'T read this. & if I upset you, oh well, it's just an opinion, and nothing more, and that's what a blog is. I don't know that this can really be a fact based post, so I'm not going to try. ***********
Alright, well, into this full throttle then.... From everything I've seen lately, a ring doesn't mean a damned thing today. In the past, a ring on your finger meant something, a promise, a marriage, trust, a relationship that was more important than almost anything else. Today, it seems to simply be an easy way of getting into someone's bed. i know that seems harsh, but divorce rates are outrageously high, and the number of people who cheat on their spouses is rediculous.
Now, I admit, there are plenty of true marriages today. I mean, plenty of marriages in which both people at least start out believing that the ring means that they're gonna be with their fiance or spouse 'till death do [they] part.'
People put too much emphasis on the ring these days though. Does it really matter how big the rock is in it if you're marrying the person you love the most in the world? I don't see how someone putting a ring on your finger makes them better than not putting a ring on your finger. That is, it's still the same person, they still love you just as much, they're still gonna be there when you need them. What's more, if they upset you when you don't have a ring on your finger they're gonna upset you when you do, and likewise, if they make you the happiest person in the whole world when you're not married to them, then they'll be the same when you are married to them. (** there are a few exceptions to this statement, but for the most part, it does hold true **)
40 years ago, there was a stigma attahed to being divorced. Not only is that no longer the case, but we expect people to have been divorced at least once. I've even heard of cases in which a girl purposely gets pregnant with a guy to rope him into marrying her. Using a child as a reason to get married just because you're too insecure to deal with the fact that you might just end up alone is about the lowest thing in the world.
While I do believe in true love, and all that stuff that noone else does, (I guess I'm just too much of a hopeless romantic) I applaud the people who wait to get married. The people who know everything in the world about each other, and know that it's gonna work out before they get married. Absolutely no disrespect to anyone who got married in a hurry, because I do believe that the couple's ability to talk things out is the deciding factor in how well the marriage works out, but I do think that it probably takes more effort to say no to getting married to the person you love.
As more and more of my friends get married to people they have known for 2 weeks, or 3 months & 8 days, or whatever, the idea that the wedding ring holds is diminishing in front of me. I realize I'm probably alone in this but I would rather live w/someone for the rest of my life & never get married to them than get a ring followed by a divorce. Hell, I'd even rather just have a dog that will always be there for me than some guy that throws in the towel after a year.
The point to this.... uhmmm... I don't know, there are a few. The first being that you shouldn't expect a golden band to solve all problems. While it is round & shiny & precious, it may very well be leading you into the firey pits of Mordor. The second being if you love someone, and they love you back, they'll wait for you to be ready to marry them, so don't rush into anything. The third being that not everyone hits an age & is ready to get married, so you really shouldn't try to pressure them into anything of that sort. They know theirself better than anyone else. The fourth, giving out a ring does not make a guy a superhero. A guy that gives out a ring is not automatically better than a guy that doesn't, and a girl w/a ring on her finger is not any better than a girl w/out a ring on her finger.
It seems my mini post turned into a really freakin' long post, so i'm sorry for that. If I offended you, well, I guess you should have stopped reading after the disclaimer. After all, logs are simply meant to get your thoughts out of your head & keep track of what's going on. Just because it's on the web. doesn't mean it should require anything apologies. Yes, I realize I'm in a kindda attacking mood, but that's life.
It is time for lunch.
Later,
Elizabeth.
4 comments:
A wedding band is trouble. My parents marraige was nothing but yelling. So I thought I'd never get married. Never dated really either. It helped to the fact that I could care less about looks for guys or girls it held no nothing. Then Alexander walked my ways at borders and I just knew. I know how that might sound. I knew I wasn't going to be leaving at the end of the year when class was over. But I had no idea it would be so soon either.
I absolutely believe the same thing about a ring not fixing anything; in fact, if I weren't Christian, I might opt for a life of living together instead. There are also arguments to being married; namely, a heightened sense of commitment. I've seen a lot of relationships end that really would have worked out if they'd had a ring on their finger, aka the incentive to stay and work on it rather than just give up.
On Sheena's comment, though: I'd disagree with the idea that you know when they're the right guy. I've had a couple of really awful misfit relationships that I had the same sense at the start of. It's possible I was just trying too hard, though.
Anyway, there's my own lil mini-post. Hope I didn't offend anyone either. ;)
What the heck is this all about???
(23:52:00) diana: i want to get married, i do. i know it will work. i know we will be happy, but i wait. i wait cause of school, and i wait because individually i am not ready to get married and have that type of commitment. but kyle and i as a couple have been ready to be married for over a year. i don't know if this makes since to u guys, but i won't sacrifice my personal goals(such as school) just to get married. and as much as i want to move in with kyle, i won't either. we have talked about and have decided it's best to just wait until we are definatly engaged. (we won't get engaged until we are going to get married with in a year) I guess i am different than most people but i really think the point of elizabeth
(23:52:02) diana: 's
(23:52:48) diana: blog was to say that we are all different and make different choices but don't critize someone for the choice they make. (& i say dito)
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