uhhhmmm... not so exciting.

sorry, but post number 100 isn't working out quite as well as I was hoping for it to, so uhmmm... I'm sorry, but this isn't gonna be the super amazing post I was hoping for it to be. Sorry. Anyhow, so this is not really gonna be an amazing fun post, just an update. Sorry to everyone.

Current state... uhmmm.... stressed, depressed, frustrated, about to my whits end, and very deperate for a break. In horrible need of a vacation that lets me unwind, etc. You get the drift. So, this semester didn't go very well. Oh well, that is something that i can't really change right now. :( I wish that t would have gone alot better, even a little better would have made me feel alot better. In my defense, this has been a very rough semester outside of school too. Try feeding a rabbit antibiotics through a baby syringe twice a day from October until December, and then some. This poor rabbit just had her third abscess drained. The first two are gone. The first one was easy, it was on her foot, and it went away very easily, the second one was the one on her jaw, and now the third one that I'm working on getting rid of is near her eye. Went to the vet, and got it drained the other day, she's back on the antibiotics again. Whoo! Poor rabbit.

Oh yeah, did I mention that I haven't had a break from school that lasted more than 4 weeks since the beginning of college. Over the past 2 and a half years, I have attended school every spring, every fall, every summer session offered, and most intersessions. During the few times that I do have breaks from school, and during school, I have been working. I have yet to ask for a break off from work that isn't for a family trip, or the week off last spring break. I need a break, and can't afford one. How sad is that?

So I'm sick of feeling stupid, but whatelse is new. I really don't want to take anything from anyone. I don't really want to talk about it at all, and I really am sick of people implying that they're smarter than other people. I don't really care how they do it, it's just mean, and arrogant, and ego happy. (I'm not singling out anyone here, because almost everyone does it, I know I do it from time to time even.) I'm just asking for people to not do that to me, at least for a while. I know that probably sounds kindda selfish, but please, just let me be a for a bit. Also, I am asking that if anyone catches me doing that to them that they call me out on it, because as much as it bothers me when people do that to me, I really don't want to do that to anyone else.

Christmas... sigh. Not good, not bad, just kindda there. End of discussion.

The New Year's Eve party is gonna be pretty cool, I'm working with Tabz to try to make it better than any other party before; by decorations, if nothing else, but it should be cool, we're gonna meet to try to work out all the kinks by tomorrow.

So anyhow, that about wraps it up for me right now, sorry it wasn't more exciting like it should have been. I'll keep working on it.

I'll catch you all later,
bye, Elizabeth.

Band of the week (maybe even month)::LINKIN PARK

So... welcome to post number 99, including that double post back there, sorry about that but I'm just too lazy to remove it, so you kindda have to deal with it. Let me reassure you all that post number 100 will be pretty cool, or something of that sort.

But anyhow, so.... life these days:: stress, stress, headache, stress, more headache, cosideration of gouging out the eyeball to get to the headache and remove it, more stress, stress due to the headaches, headaches due to the stress... nasty cycle, really. I don't like it at all.

Anyhow, so... tired, stressed, and frustrated... oh well. Oh yeah, and it seems that I'm discovering more and more that I'm not a strong enough person to deal with my life. Funny how it works, isn't it? The only way you can gain strength the strength you need to survive a hard 'trial,' is to endure other trials that you're not even sure you have enough strength to overcome in the first place. So, while you need more strength for the things you're forced into, you can't even get through the basic things that you should be able to. My life feels like I'm trying to get through the last level of a video game on the first try, without ever having held a controller before.

It feels like I'm stuck in slow motion, and fast forward at the same time. I just want to be able to solve my own problems at my own pace, with none of this 'intervention' or outside bitching. A breath of fresh air has never hurt anyone, especially during the week(s) leading up finals.

Uhhh... school. Not good. Oh well. Not aweful, but no where near good enough.

Yeah, and LINKIN PARK has captured my soul, and put it into song, repeatedly. Yay for them. The reason for songs is to share a story, or idea with the rest of the world that others can relate to, but probably not put into words.

Yeah, I'm gonna close this now, because i'm kindda zoning out.... It's taken me about two hours to write this much. Goodnight everyone. Sleep well, sweet dreams. bye, Elizabeth